Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Fife Wife Suspended After Elevator Video Surfaces

The entrance to a typical style elevator found...
The offending Peacock Casino elevator (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This is the most recent of a series of reports in which TSIBWWFfG chronicles a year in the life of the Patrick Finley Memorial Fantasy Baseball League, one of the original Big Six fantasy leagues.

J. Michael Robertson, Finley Fantasy's Beloved Commissioner for Life, yesterday indefinitely suspended the wife of former league champion Paul Fife following the recent emergence of a video providing additional information concerning an encounter between the two in a Reno casino elevator last summer.

Last July a surveillance video from the Peacock Casino showed a clearly infatuated Kit Fife tugging her husband into the elevator "playfully tossing her head in a flirtatious manner" and "drawing him close with lascivious intent" according to Robertson.

Though not conclusive, Robertson said, the footage suggested a degree of connubial bliss "likely to make the rest of the league feel bad" since "our own wives have gotten over us a long time ago."

In response to that video, BCL Robertson suspended Mrs. Fife from the annual league outing, mandating that Fife bring his mother instead.

The appearance last week on Gawker of a surveillance video recorded inside the elevator at the time of the original incident has exposed the Finley League to widespread criticism in the Geek Community citing the inadequacy of the original penalty.

In the new video, Mrs. Fife  "showers her husband with burning kisses" and "fondles his left bicep muscle just as if he has one," Robertson said. "This cannot be allowed to stand. Why is Paul getting so much action? My self image has taken a blow."

League newcomer Chris Corwin had his own somewhat cryptic take on the controversy. "When I get busy on an elevator," he said, "I always start in the basement."


  1. This just in: Mr. Fife told Matt Lauer that his wife touched his bicep "only once." Nevertheless, neither the Finley Fantasy League, nor any other fantasy league, will allow Mrs. Fife to participate in league outings at this time. Speculation continues to circle that Commissioner Robertson viewed the Peacock Casino video numerous times, and we mean numerous, before it surfaced on Gawker.

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